Post: Let's Talk About Me...
Let's Talk About Me...
College students are more self-centered and narcassistic than ever, according to a new study released last week.
The authors of the Narcissistic Personality Inventory say that while these characteristics may help young people meet new people -- and shine on reality shows -- they can hurt their relationships with others.
What's to blame?
Permissive parents, a self-esteem movement that began in the 80s -- and the media. “Current technology fuels the increase in narcissism,” Jean Twenge, a professor at San Diego State University and the study's lead author told the Associated Press. “By its very name, MySpace encourages attention-seeking, as does YouTube.”
Twenge says narcissists may lack empathy, react aggressively to criticism and choose promoting themselves over helping others.
But how do you promote self-esteem while keeping self-centered behavior in check? Especially when your kids watch regular people become stars on the Internet and TV all the time?
The answers seem to lie in making sure that kids develop strong offline relationships early in life -- like with their parents, and later on with friends they hang out with in the real world. Kids who feel super special within their family or community may not need to be special to the whole world.
Parents have to use media wisely, too -- choosing programs and games that reinforce their values, and saying no to ones that don't (or at least analyzing them together). And they need to check in with their kids. Ask them what their expectation for the future are. What are their markers for success? Will you be suprised if they choose fame and wealth?
Parents and other media experts, chime in here. Does this study really reveal anything surprising -- or anything to be too concerned about?
There are 1 replies to this post
Date: March 5, 2007
I hear so many parents saying "Oh, that's such a pretty picture" or "Oh, you're so smart" -- teaching kids from a very early age to make other people happy/ impress others.
Parents instead should really encourage their kids to do what they love: "It looks like you had a lot of fun coloring that!" or "You really seem to like reading." ....
Role models and relationships are of course important -- but it's also simple things that can shape values and motivation.