Post: Dealing with Prom Drama
Dealing with Prom Drama
Talk about a mixed message: The April edition of Teen Vogue features a big article on out-of-control proms, which blames the media –- specifically movies –- for the increased pressure on teens to buy expensive dresses, snag hot dates, have extravagant after-parties, and make prom night the best night of their lives.
Of course this article is just part of the magazine’s prom package, set among pages of prom dresses –- one of which costs over $400 –- and even an article about getting skin in perfect dance-night condition, starting a month ahead of time.
True, there are dresses at lower price points, and the magazine does show girls bargain shopping or going vintage. But teen magazines’ prom packages make it obvious that it’s not just the movies building the prom pressure, setting up the big night to be a big disappointment –- and a big expense.
So what can parents do about it? The Teen Vogue article talks about high schools that have decided to cancel prom, rather than, as one principal put it, sponsor “an orgy.” But in the spirit of Common Sense Media’s “sanity not censorship” message, perhaps parents can begin by setting limits –- and using teen magazines to strike up conversations with their tweens and teens.
Ask your daughter:
1.) Is prom an important enough event to warrant so many magazine pages? What do these packages do to your expectations for the night? Do you think the reality can ever live up to the fantasy that magazines present?
2.) How do you feel about yourself after seeing teens model glamorous prom dresses and fancy hair styles? Do you notice yourself thinking about your own body or looks more after reading these packages? Does it leave you wanting to spend more money on makeup and accessories to make the night perfect? (This might be a good time to talk about how magazine models have stylists -- and are airbrushed, too.)
3.) If you were editing a teen magazine, and putting together a prom package, what, if anything, would you do differently? If an editor was really concerned about out-of-control proms, is it enough to write an article about it, or would you feature some other content?
4.) What do magazines have to gain by promoting lots of prom-related products? Can you find any crossovers between products that are mentioned in editorial and those that are in the advertisements?
5.) Thinking beyond magazines, what are some other ways that we build up prom in our culture? Do you think children's fairy tales like Cinderella, or even more modern princesses, like Dora the Explorer, are also responsible for building expectations? What are some other ways girls are encouraged to fantasize about being the belle of the ball?
Parents: For more help dealing with prom, check out Dads and Daughters smart tips.
For a list of prom movies likely to spark some lively conversation, check out the prom movies we prom teen magazines